Half

I snapped. I’ll admit it.

To be fair, it was a gentle snap. And I was the only one who knew it was happening.

Last week was a lot. I had a lot going on with cool girl pizza stuff, Landon had a lot going on with the NFL draft, Vivian had a lot going on with extra curriculars. You know how it goes.

I had saved my chocolate bunny from Easter. You know the one- hollow, delicious. Vivian is the only one who received a whole Easter basket, but every year I buy Landon and myself each a chocolate bunny.

Thursday of last week, I had to pick Vivian up from school early. She was still complaining that her ear hurt from an ear infection that we had treated the week before, so we were going to the pediatrician.

I had eaten the head of the chocolate bunny that morning. Like I said, I was stressed.

After running around all day, getting ready for a food festival I was participating in, taking Vivian to the doctor (ear was fine), I come home, and reach for the bottom half of the rabbit. Half is missing.

What the fuck.

I stare at it for a second, then I realize- Landon had mistaken it for his chocolate, and eaten half.

You see, after Easter, Landon ate the top half of his chocolate bunny, and left the bottom half on top of the microwave. A day later, he finished it.

When I ate my rabbit, I also put the bottom half on top of the microwave.

I took the befouled chocolate and marched into our bedroom, where Landon was watching the draft, and generally in the middle of a million things.

“Did you eat my chocolate?” I demand, waving it at him.

He finishes typing something, and pulls his focus from the television to see me waving part of a half-eaten chocolate rabbit at him.

“Uh, oh yeah. That wasn’t mine?”

I am flabbergasted. I am destroyed. I am someone who very specifically loves food and will lose her mind if someone else eats her food, very specifically dessert.

He goes back to the draft, unaffected. I storm out. I’m furious.

What did I do?

I got in the car to go get In and Out for dinner. On my way, I pulled over and paid fourteen dollars to order a new hollow chocolate bunny. Since it had been a few days, everyone was sold out (I checked). This was my option, and I went ahead and smashed the “buy now” button on my Amazon app.

A few days later, I received a glorious package. I ate it in one sitting.