Problem Not Solved
Vivian is going through puberty, which brings up a whole lot of body stuff- with her, and with me.
Deodorant, face wash (plus the annoying “did you wash your face?” question every morning before school), sweating, did I mention deodorant?
I am very much a breakfast person, I require coffee and food pretty soon after I wake up. Vivian loathes having to eat first thing, something only required of her during the school week. One morning, while she was forcing herself to eat her mandatory two-to-three bites of cereal, I was drinking my coffee and reminding her to put on deodorant. Suddenly, I remembered my own struggle during a particularly dark “sweating” era of my life.
In high school, I went through a phase where my underarms and sides would be drenched in sweat by the end of the day. No matter what deodorant I wore, the time of year, or the clothing I had on, I would come home to fully wet sides. With homecoming fast approaching, I was nervous that I would end up having a gross wet dress less than an hour into the evening, and didn’t know what to do.
One of my friends suggested I try Mitchum Deodorant. “What’s that?” I asked. I thought I had tried them all.
“It’s great,” she said, “you won’t sweat at all!”
I tried it a few days before homecoming. It came as a roll-on gel. I rolled it on, waited for my pits to dry, and got dressed. I came home from school that day, and wouldn’t you know…I had perfectly dry clothes. My armpits were dry, too! What a miracle product! How come more people don’t use this?
Homecoming came and went, and I kept on wearing Mitchum. Loved Mitchum. Couldn’t recommend this product enough.
A few weeks went by, and I started to notice my armpits were feeling sore. In the shower one night, I winced when washing my underarms. I felt around- lumps! Oh no! I knew enough to know what breast cancer was, and now I have lumps very close to my boobs. Oh no.
I told mom, who made an appointment with my doctor.
At the appointment, I was ready for the worst. I cannot believe I was about to be diagnosed with cancer. I was only 17. This was a crisis.
“Have you been using any new products?” asked my gynecologist.
“No.”
“Any new deodorants or underarm spritzes?” she followed up, not looking up from her clipboard.
“Oh, I switched deodorant.”
She looked up at me. “Mitchum?”
I was shocked. “Yes, how did you-”
“It stops you from sweating. Your sweat glands are clogged. Stop using it, and they’ll go back to normal in a few days.”
Turns out, the glorious gel was forming a seal across my overactive sweat glands. Yes, I wasn’t covered in sweat, and also yes, I was still sweating. It was just trapped.
I skipped any deodorant that weekend, and gave them a minute to breathe. The lumps vanished, and I was back to square one.
As I grew out of my teens and into my twenties, my sweat capabilities simmered down to “normal” levels. Dove is a fine deodorant.
I told this story to Vivian while she was eating. “Gross,” she said, taking a sip of water and leaving the table to go brush her teeth (and hopefully wash her face).
I still like Mitchum for special occasions.